As a rabbit, I represent the underdog. We have been considered second class for way too long, and it’s time for us to take action.  Just like cats, dogs and other animals, we feel happy, we feel sad, and we feel pain. We can suffer greatly, yet we are still one of the only companion animals that can be slaughtered for meat and fur. 

We’re still classified as poultry and are not fully protected by the Humane Slaughter Act. That’s means that we can still be killed while fully conscious.  Most rabbit meat facilities are not regulated and inspected, and they are notoriously filthy and cruel. Because of this, stories like Hawthorne’s (below), will continue to happen. Thank goodness my good buddy Hawthorne is now in the safe loving arms of SaveABunny, and is available for adoption. Even if you’re not able to adopt Hawthorne in, you can support SaveABunny’s efforts through their website or buy my Mr Pinkerton Gear, where the profits also go to help save bunnies like Hawthorne.

Hawthorne’s Story

My name is Hawthorne and I am very grateful to be alive.  I was rescued from a horrible life being sold as a “meat” rabbit at a flea market in San Francisco. I am a big bunny that was crammed into a tiny cage with other rabbits and we had no food or water or space to move. As you can see from the “BEFORE” photo, I am urine stained from being underneath other frightened rabbits.

And this is my “after” photo—after I was brushed and cleaned. It will take me a few months to grow in the soft, silky white fur that I have underneath all this mess.

Even though humans had not been kind to me so far in my short life, I am still a sweet, gentle boy. I am a little shy at first and not sure if your hand coming toward me means that I will be hit and hurt, or stroked and loved. I am so grateful for a tender touch and kindness.

My sense is that life CAN be good and that I have a purpose on this earth other than to be someone’s dinner. I’m currently being housed at SaveABunny waiting to be adopted.

What better way to save while you shop, than to save a life. That’s exactly what you’ll be doing when you shop my new line of “Mr Pinkerton for President” t-shirts, sweatshirts, cups, etc.

A significant portion of proceeds from my cafe press store funds animal rescue efforts at SaveABunny.org, a non-profit organization dedicated to rescuing, rehabilitating and re-homing rabbits facing euthanasia. They saved my life, and in-turn I want to save others.

Help me, help them…SHOP, AND SAVE a life today!

 

I don’t judge how other people connect to life or what they wish or pray for, but I, for one, know exactly what I want out of the big bunny in the sky.

Studies have shown that naps can improve our long term memory, our alertness, judgement and mood. If everyone took more naps the world would be a better place. Think of all the decisions that have been made that needed better judgement, clarity and alertness. To prove my point, check out the incidents below… all could have been avoided with naps.

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1975 - If President Ford would have just taken a nap on the plane, he may have had the alertness to manage stairs better. 

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Avoid Public Humiliation: McCain had the right idea, but lacked “naptime discretion.” 

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Some actions could have used better judgement. If Kerry would’ve taken a nap that day, we may have all been spared from this one. 

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I will lead with clarity, good judgement and I am always in a great mood because….I NAP!

 

       

 

I sent out invitations to my first “Meet & Greet” as a presidential contender and was surprised to see that John Edwards, Hillary Clinton, Jim Wallis and Barack Obama had crashed my party.

Everyone was a bit stiff until they they hit the open bar of carrot cocktails. They all loosened up after that. Hillary kept trying to touch my hat though. I had to learn to duck and dodge while talking. But all and all it was a great time.

I know the devastation that discrimination causes. I have been shunned for no other reason than the color of my eyes.

White bunnies with pink eyes are subject to prejudices. Irrational fear and disgust keep my fellow white pink eyed friends in constant danger of being euthanized.

Red eyes are not gross, nor do they represent evil. Red eyes, like a red rose and valentines, represent love. And that’s all that we’ve ever wanted to give and to receive.

But instead, because of the ongoing prejudice, my pink-eyed friends are overlooked and left in shelters across America.

I will fight for all of those that have been discriminated against…For all those that are feared and neglected and miss out on freedom and joy.

Many live their whole lives never knowing what it feels like to be loved. The time for this to end is now.

I will do everything in my power to educate the public so that every one of us can enjoy the freedom to live, leap and love….oh, yeah, and eat parsley.

Brought to you by www.SaveABunny.org

Mr. Pinkerton, a New Zealand White rabbit with pink eyes announces his run for President in 2008. He has the experience and the ability to lead the American people, and perhaps the world, with his innovative and effective solutions to longstanding problems, such as global warming, world hunger, domestic violence, racial issues and the decline in family values.

Pinkerton, a battled-tested veteran who survived imprisonment and a disfiguring wound to his right ear said, “I believe that this nation is ready for a red, white and true blue leader who doesn’t flip-flop on major issues, but quickly hops to the truth.” Pinkerton is widely acknowledged as being a bun of action and few words. He bravely took a vow of silence earlier this year to protest rabbits being served in restaurants, “as dishes not diners”, and now speaks with conviction through his live-in companion and campaign manager, Marcy Schaaf.

Pinkerton, an iconoclastic leader dissatisfied with current presidential frontrunners is running as an Independent. He has drawn the ire of opponents with his controversial statements, such as stating that if long-time vegan Dennis Kucinich won’t eat hay, then he is just not “green enough,” and publicly questioning Rudy Guiliani’s family values.

Mr. Pinkerton’s Core Platform: Progressive Health Care, Environmental Awareness and Population Control

World Hunger

“I believe the people of this great nation and our planet deserve to live long, healthy lives with riches from the bounty of the earth. My proposed nationalized health care system guarantees 24 carrot treatment for every man, woman and child. In fact, no bunny or child will be left behind.” Pinkerton, a lifelong vegan and man of faith, frequently quotes Genesis: 1:29, “God said, ‘I have given you every plant with seeds on the face of the earth and every tree that has fruit with seeds. This will be your food.’”

Though righteous, Mr. Pinkerton is not a prude. He recognizes that temptation abounds and he heartily endorses Humpington Ridge Fine Belgian Chocolates (vegan) by SaveABunny as a decadently delicious treat for people with good taste.

Domestic Violence

Mr. Pinkerton condemns violence toward any living being and supports a plant-based diet, though he makes an exception to his violent addiction to cilantro. He also regrets his “unfortunate encounter” with former President Jimmy Carter in the swamp a few years back and has successfully completed anger management classes.

Family Values

“I believe in family values. I used to play the field, but Rudy, how many wives does a guy really need? I’ve also acknowledged my widely publicized romp with the ravishing, Rex Rabbit vixen, Ms. Velveeta LeFleur. In fact, I volunteered for neutering and emerged from rehab for my sex addiction a changed man. My days of casual sex and club-hopping are over.”

War In Iraq

Mr. Pinkerton is a peace-loving patriot who never tried to avoid military service. He did not vote for the war in Iraq and has never voted except for more banana treats.

Mr. Pinkerton Needs Your Support!

Mr. Pinkerton is actively seeking financial backers for his campaign and pledges to manage his resources wisely. “No $400 haircuts for me, only $15 nail trims.” He also promises to save money by eating like a rabbit.

Plans for a national media campaign include a “Mr. Pinkerton For President 2008″ web site and a Cafe Press store with many branded items, all driving donations to his campaign.

Compassion is not only cute as a bunny, but the path of a true humanitarian and leader.

With So Many Worthy Causes, Why Support Mr. Pinkerton’s Campaign?

One hundred percent of all contributions to Mr. Pinkerton’s campaign go directly to his work. All campaign staffers are hard-working volunteers at SaveABunny, an award-winning nonprofit rabbit rescue group dedicated to rescuing rabbits facing euthanasia. Mr. Pinkerton’s expenses (and those of his very extended family) are funded completely by donation or by those volunteers who love him.

Mr. Pinkerton also represents the underdog. Rabbits are as sensitive, loving and intelligent as cats and dogs, yet they are one of the only companion animals that can also be slaughtered for their meat and fur. Rabbits are classified as poultry and are not protected by the Humane Slaughter Act. They can also be killed while fully conscious. Most rabbit meat facilities are not inspected, regulated and are notoriously filthy, cruel and inhumane.

Furthermore, rabbits raised for meat and fur were NOT included in the recent California Ballot Initiative for farmed animals. Mr. Pinkerton’s voice needs to be heard in California and beyond for the rights of those innocent beings left behind at shelters and in legislation. According to the ASPCA, rabbits are the third most frequently euthanized animals in the U.S. This especially motivates Mr.Pinkerton to challenge the status quo.

For more information about this campaign, email Mr. Pinkerton

Mr Pinkerton’s Campaign is brought to you by SaveABunny.org - a nonprofit, 501c3 sponsored organization through the Friends of San Francisco Animal Care and Control EIN number 94-3371620. Donations and gifts-in-kind are tax deductible as allowed by law.